As long as I can remember and retain information my parents we’re in their own world.. I remember going to motels and being kicked out cause they argued all the time.. My mom likes to act like it was all “my dad ” but it takes two to tango and knowing my mom now, I can honestly say she wasn’t the victim and ” my dad” and her we’re one big monster when they were together. When I was in second grade I remember my teacher sending me home because “my mom” left a bruise on my leg.. That what was “my mom’s” thing when she was trying to get us to listen. When we went out to any public place we would sit down and shut up.. People thought it was good because kids run around all the time and we didn’t. But little did they know my dad would beat us if we didn’t do what he said. So when we went out public we know how to act. I remember when my use to wear her hair a certain way but when her and “my dad” divorced she stop doing that and dressed like she was 17 again.. Sometimes when “my mom” would leave “my dad” but it only took a day to come back. I remember when I was younger, my dad and mom were arguing and she happen to be opening a can. We were dirt poor so she was using a knife and ended up cutting herself. Like most times, he didn’t want to take her to the hospital.. That was my dad for ya. I wish my parents actually taught us something but instead we’ve had to learn as we go.. My mom refuses to grow up and remember that she’s always going to a mother.. But then again she didn’t want to be a mother in the first place anyway… I’m scared to put out what it really was because I have not even admitted to myself what it was like. And my brothers and sisters act like it didn’t happen, it’s all in my head but I know it wasn’t.. Cause it scared my mind with memories, I question every day that nobody wants to talk about or express. What if you need your past to go forward? Idk what I’m saying.. Forget it.
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